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Joke of the Day
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror."
Next Joke
"""Honey, I don't like how you look with these new glasses."" ""But I don't wear glasses.."" ""I know, but I do."""
"If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men"
"My girlfriend asked me if I had a secret pet name for her. Judging by the look on her face, 'sperm whale' was not an appropriate answer."
"Camouflage training The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""
"Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers."
"what do you call an American Tardis? a reTardis"
"[shopping] [wife being a real pain] Me: *hands her the broom we just bought* You want me to carry this? Or do you want to drive it home?"
"Q: How do you know a blonde likes you? A: She screws you two nights in a row."
"Yelp* now has jail reviews. (true) Felon87: Try for Block C. Great ambient lighting, management is courteous & the risotto is 'to die for'."