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Joke of the Day
"Why did the noodle take a bow after the recital? He was the vermicellist"
Next Joke
"What's worse than waking up after a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced"
"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."
"When my doctor gives me a prostate exam I like to moan ""Mmmm, deeper."" Freaks him out, but not as much as when I try to cuddle afterward."
"What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day? A hug and a little quiche."
"[robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-"
"My cattle ate my entire pot field. The steaks have never been higher."
"What's the dirtiest thing ever said at a gay bar? ""Excuse me sir, do you mind if I push in your stool?"""
"Friends are like penguins If you stab it, it dies."
"""You'll sleep when I'm dead"" -- my phone"