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Joke of the Day

"At my daughter's dance recital. Wait. I don't have any kids. I'm leaving. These girls suck at ballet."

"[Morgue] Cop: Sir, I know it's tough but we need you to ID the body Me looking at corpse: *takes deep breath* Areare you over 21?"

"Why was the frog down in the mouth ? He was un hoppy !"

"What do you call a leper in a hot tub? Stew!"

"If people don't wish to discuss the cruel existential futility of all human endeavour they shouldn't say.. ...Good Morning in the first place."

"Why was the cemetery plot salesman upset? Business was dead."

"What's the leading cause of violence in America? Volkswagen Beetles."

"Similar What's the same between ur dick and a rubix cube....the longer u play with it the harder it gets"

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"Me- Can I borrow a screwdriver? Neighbor- Phillips or regular? Me- Grey Goose and Tropicana"