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Joke of the Day

"At my daughter's dance recital. Wait. I don't have any kids. I'm leaving. These girls suck at ballet."

"Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit."

"What does a Chihuahua play basketball with? A tennis ball!"

"ceimr thats ""crime"" but in alphabetical order organized crime"

"A Stupid Boyfriend Thought LOL Meant ""Lots Of Love"". So He Sent This Text To His Girlfriend,""You Are Only Girl Of My Life.......LOL""."

"During sex, my wife is a screamer in bed ...That is when I walk in on her."

"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."

"April is autism awareness month Anyone here aware they have autism"

"My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything."

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""uno, dos..."" *Poof* ... He disappears without a tres."