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Joke of the Day

"THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree"

"Why did god create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn! :D"

"Why hiring foreign workers can be bad... Boss: Where were you born? Woman: Germany Boss: Really? Which part? Woman: what you mean which part? Whole body born in Germany!"

"I realize I'm not good advising suicidal people I said ""hang in there!"""

"What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Barackoli."

"A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together... They made a log-rhythm."

"*at an AA meeting* ""Hi, I'm Andy and I have a drinking problem. I have 2 hands and only 1 mouth. Lol."" *gets aggressively escorted out*"

"Give a man a jacket He will be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket, he will never leave the house."

"What's the difference between a Trump rally and a Klan rally? Several thousand yards of white fabric."

"Some folks say if you go into a Halloween store late at night, you can see the ghosts of the Blockbuster employees who used to work there."