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Joke of the Day

"I'm enthralled by curling. No, not enthralled. What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia? That."

"Spiritually, ever since I ate my first curry, I'll always be part Indian."

"THE ELI WUT IS ELIS MIDDLE NAME? THE SO IT IS ELI THE BASEKE"

"I'm emotionally unavailable but I make up for it by being completely unattractive."

"What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day? It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"Soo... I guess when he asked for my number he didn't mean how many lovers I've had?"

"I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me"

"Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar"

"How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Rectal thermometer tastes like shit"

"Changed ex's name in my cell to Do Not Engage. Unfortunately, his middle name Not doesn't show up when he texts."