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Joke of the Day

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny."

"Are anti-jokes still funny? Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead"

"I sold my vacuum the other day... all it was doing was collecting dust!"

"Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone."

"Just laminated my dad."

"This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore."

"Movie joke: Sling Blade ""Two fellers was peein' off a bridge. One said the water's cold. Other the the water's deep.... I think one of 'em was from Arkansas mhmm."""

"Don't curse the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation"

"What do you get when two giraffes collide? a giraffic jam!"