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Joke of the Day

"THE ELI WUT IS ELIS MIDDLE NAME? THE SO IT IS ELI THE BASEKE"

"What is black and white and red all over? A Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of salsa!"

"A pirate is sitting at a bar... In walks in a civil rights activist, a communist, and a dog. The pirate says, ""Well, today's my lucky day! X, Marx, and the Spot!"""

"My girlfriend said I should be more Romantic... She didn't like my toga but the orgy was great!"

"I'm more emotionally invested in this sandwich than I am in most humans."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""P"" is silent."

"You guys have no idea how much pressure there is to be funny, for free, with absolutely no obligation, on the Internet all the damn time."

"My ex told me that I was gonna die alone... I told her she was wrong because I would die while making out with a shotgun."

"What do you get if you cross a rhino with an elephant? I don't know but it's not relevant."

"How many stream cleaners does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, they can only change the floor essence."