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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked."

"I knew this guy who was so dumb... he saw a road sign that said, ""Disney Land Left"", so he turned around and went home."

"How do you pickup chicks in Auschwitz ? With a dustpan.."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An unoriginal joke"

"Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation? He didn't want any beef."

"Excuse me - can you tell me the way to the Staten Island Ferry? Thpeaking."

"Women love it when you emit three high pitched squawks, inflate your expandable throat pouch, and then dart back and forth between trees."

"Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life."

"It was my five year old daughter's school play last night. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in years! I didn't go."

"An Irish man walks out of a bar. Hey, it could happen."