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Joke of the Day

"Do you know about the constantly airborne bird species native to Holland? It Netherlands."

"Butt dialing and booty calling So similar. So different"

"Why are women like parachutes? Because if they don't spread they are worthless."

"""Grampa, how did you support gay marriage? Did you march like civil rights ppl?"" ""No. Marching's hard. I tweeted about it."""

"Facebook is essentially a machine that eats time and shits thumbs."

"Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. That's it. That's the joke."

"My wife and I recently became feminists But since I'm a guy I'm a little better at it than she is."

"*changes voicemail recording to ""your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again"

"what do you call a whale that mates constantly? your girlfreind"