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Joke of the Day

"My dishwasher died the other day.... Does anyone have an extra wife i can borrow/have?"

"I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left."

"There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking."

"Ruin a date in 5 words... Does this smell like chloroform?"

"Why aren't there any baby Transformers? Because Auto-Bots pull out!"

"Want to hear a joke about Alzheimer's?"

"""Are you crying .?"" ""No, my eyes are sweating -_____-"" #ITTS"

"A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair."

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact."

"My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluids... but he tells me that he can stop any time."