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Joke of the Day

"It looks like I'm missing a lot of tweets. They were probably so great the Library of Congress just couldn't wait to archive them."

"What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip) Telegram Telephone Tell a woman Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A doyouthinkhe-saurus"

"How can tell your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"3 hours until I get to pretend I know how to do 6th grade math homework....."

"I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws"

"Someone asked Trump how he planned to build the wall he said ""On the day I got elected 60 million people shit a brick and Mexico agreed to pay for the mortar"""

"*Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS"

"Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking ""why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"""

"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"