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Joke of the Day
"Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life. Push and pull"
Next Joke
"Who would win a knife fight between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? Everyone!"
"If she says ""I'm fine"" that means she's fine and you can keep playing Xbox"
"What's today's date? 10-4 Good Buddy!"
"What do rich people and bad flossers have in common? Deep pockets."
"Come on Fred I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me let them come and get me!"
"JUDGE: i sentence you to life in prison MY LAWYER WHO IS A HOUSE FLY: nice that's only like 11 days"
"Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born? Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones."
"If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant... Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits suicide?"
"Why did the semen cross the road? I put the wrong socks on this morning..."