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Joke of the Day

"What's today's date? 10-4 Good Buddy!"

"It's funny to randomly say mid-conversation: Are you implying I'm gay?"

"Why don't the blind bungee jump? Because it scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"Oh. This is hand *Satanizer.* Well, is my face red with the blood of innocents."

"I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition."

"Why do hipsters hate ice skating? They could never do it before it was cool"

"Yo mama is like the gas station. Pump and Pay."

"If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry, most likely it's your kid."

"Did you hear about the resourceful proctologist? He always used two fingers, in case his patients wanted a second opinion."

"Til, We are Homo Sapiens at school, And said that my mother. She wished My father was still Homo Erectus."