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Joke of the Day

"Being an adult means never having to show your work on a math problem. It's as awesome as it sounds, kids."

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car."

"What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off? NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!"

"I lied to the doctor when asked my crush's blood type. Now she knows what rejection feels like."

"QUESTION: What is the difference between a ""Battery"" and a woman? ANSWER: A battery has a positive side."

"Racist: What sign appears on abortion clinics in black communities? ""Crime Prevention Center"""

"What is the worst thing about farming vegetables? The wheelchairs are too expensive."

"I always wanted to be self-confident. Well, look at me now. Actually, don't."

"Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth"

"""how'd your football team football today?"" those footballers footballed quite well...really good footballin'"