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Joke of the Day

"laugh! besty medicine"

"If I was Genghis Khan's personal advisor Every time he had a moment of self doubt, I'd remind him he is Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't."

"(Works better spoken) The seaman was asked what he was doing when he got out. He said when he got discharged he'd be buried in pussy."

"I met my girlfriend on 11/1/14... But it's now 12/31/15. She's destroyed my KDA this game."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender!"

"[1st date] me: do you want kids? her: Yes me: GREAT [pulls 7 babies out from under table] HERE'S MINE HAVE FUN GOTTA GO"

"How many sea men can fit in a circle 2 rads"

"Just another day grabbing random children by the shoulders and screaming ""I'M YOU FROM THE ""FUTURE!"" in their faces.."

"I'm trying to switch from ""okay"" to ""OK"" but I can't figure out what to do with all this extra time on my hands"

"Who was the most famous pirate octopus? Captain Squid!"