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Joke of the Day
"I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs"
Next Joke
"[pulls out acoustic guitar at a funeral] alright everyone stop being all [finger quotes] sad this next 1 is dedicated to a very sexy widow."
"[waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]"
"Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!"
"WHAT'S BETTER THAN A ROADMAN!!!!!!??? A ROADMAP!!!"
"A man walks into a bar A paraplegic rolls."
"I ignore politics because politicians clearly ignore me."
"what's the easiest way to get a jewish girl's number? roll up her sleeve"
"Two cows are standing next to each other in a field . . . one says "" I was artificially inseminated this morning"" ""I don't believe you."" Said the other ""It's true . no bull. """
"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti made from milk protein... But sadly he pasta whey."