213784

Joke of the Day

"[waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]"

"I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed... ...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope"

"What is a priest's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's Poo Tin"

"Exit signs. They are on their way out."

"My mate thought it was funny... to post about disleyxics but he spelt ""funny"" wrong..."

"I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first."

"I like my women like I like my alcohol..... Rubbing."

"I just put a bunch of lipstick up my butt. (NSFW) I've suddenly realized that makeup sex is highly overrated."

"My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project. I remember the time I did that, in middle school. Rings A Bell."