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Joke of the Day

"[waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]"

"Round the Mountain by Sheelagh B. Cummin"

"[At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay."

"Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only suffered super fish oil injuries, but I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!"

"What is ""Paulie"" Pennino's favorite restaurant? Red Robin... Ya Bum"

"When life gives you lemons Drink the kool-aide"

"Ohh, no thanks. I have seen a baby before"

"When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee That's a moray."

"Hey girl are you a capri sun? Because i want to stab you."

"A man walks into a bar But it's atmospheric pressure so he's fine."