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Joke of the Day
"Joke It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."
Next Joke
"If people who made meth called themselves methematicians it would probably be a more respected occupation."
"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."
"5: ""Mommy why not?"" Me: ""Because you're driving me crazy."" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"""
"I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled ""paedophile!"" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary."
"I'm a Renaissance Man in the sense that I'm confused and frightened by everything in 2011."
"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."
"The best blowjob I ever had was from a fat chick. Probably because she's used to putting things in her mouth."
"Always buy 'hand wash only' shirts whenever you want to wear something once and then throw it into a 'hand wash only' basket for 15 years."
"What kind of music does a printer make? A paper jam."