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Joke of the Day

"Dear England, Now you know what it feels like when you're out of Europe against your will. Scotland."

"Remember, if you're ever being attacked by a mob of clowns Always go for the juggler."

"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and stored in the freezer... ** Stolen from a TV comic I heard, to I take no credit, here"

"The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold."

"Turns out exposing yourself to different cultures just gets you arrested in multiple countries."

"Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers."

"Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11."

"A yoga joke! What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave? ""Nah I'ma stay"""

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 Because I really like that one-to-one time."