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Joke of the Day

"I'm a Renaissance Man in the sense that I'm confused and frightened by everything in 2011."

"Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef."

"Sometimes I really think about killing myself. I don't. But I *really* think about it."

"What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur? A Flossiraptor! I'll just show myself out..."

"[4 strangers are smearing their bodily fluids on each other] [one turns to camera] ""There has to be a better way."" VOICEOVER: ""Hot tubs."""

"Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts? Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers"

"My boyfriend offered to do analingus if I'd trim a ""landing strip..."" I told him he should be more worried about Skid Row."

"Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk."

"A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said ""It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides."""

"""Oh, we're going for a 30 second car ride? OK, let me gather all of my worldly possessions and get a little naked."" - my 2 year old"