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Joke of the Day
"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."
Next Joke
"Why is Charlie Sheen always seen smiling? Because he's so damn positive!"
"I remember as a child, lying awake at night on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come... ...then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."
"I think the hardest part about being a cashier is telling the girl buying 3 pregnancy tests to ""Have a nice day"""
"Level of drunkenness: fed the ATM pizza."
"Me:Come in. It's not like I'm a serial killer. Him:*laughs nervously* Me: *laughing* u have to murder more than 2 ppl for it to be serial"
"I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas."
"'Mum, can I lick the bowl? ' the child asks ""No!"" Replied the mother, ""just flush like everyone else"""
"Why don't Southern girls engage in orgies? Too many thank-you notes."
"How do you get even with Hellen Keller? (Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"