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Joke of the Day

"Me: I've had this for 3 weeks & I'm still single! HomeDepot Clerk: ma'am, a stud finder is for the beams in your wall Me: that was unclear"

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed... 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."

"Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital? In the ICU."

"Brooklyn When you go to Brooklyn always bring a camera, because there are many things in Brooklyn that you will see, then never see again in your life... Starting with that camera."

"A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear, and she asks it.... ""Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"" The bear responds: ""No, I'm stuffed."""

"I just saw an onion ring. So I answered it."

"Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain. Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too. And maybe the me: dude, that's my mom's cassero- C: Spain."

"Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example."

"It's a long shot... but does anyone know a good joke about a sniper?"

"Sausage and bacon in a frying pan. Sausage says to the bacon: ""It's pretty hot here."" Bacon says: ""Oh my god! A talking sausage !!"""