153865

Joke of the Day

"[Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died."

"What do you call two skunks sixty-nining? Odor eaters."

"My yard is full of bear traps cos I'm a bit weird about sharing milkshake."

"I just dropped 15 pounds! But don't worry, I unplugged the toilet afterwards."

"What do you call a Jamaican gynecologist? A Pokemon"

"What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples? A senior high school math problem."

"Me: *Rubbing Chin* Why am I always hungry 30 mins after I eat Chinese food? Chin: [pushing my hand away}I dunno man I just deliver the food."

"Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)"

"*pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP"

"What goes ""clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"" An Amish drive by."