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Joke of the Day

"The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says ""We hiring"" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired."

"I met a hot girl. We had dinner yesterday. At least I'm assuming she had dinner."

"pull a prank on your boss by not showing up to work ever again, instant classic"

"I bet black people whoooa this tweet is not starting off well"

"Bird puns I am a bird enthusiast. My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns, but then I realized: toucan play at that game."

"Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken"

"Knock Knock, ""Who's there?"" ""Gladiator"" ""Gladiator who?"" ""Gladiator, before going to the gang bang"""

"What did one lesbian vampire say the other? See ya next month ;)"

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant."