220087

Joke of the Day

"Bird puns I am a bird enthusiast. My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns, but then I realized: toucan play at that game."

"Where does a hedge knight invest his money? In a hedge fund"

"My grandmother always wanted to be in a gated community So that's why I chose to have her buried at the cemetery when she died."

"How do black geese call to white geese? HONKEY! HONKEY!"

"Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa? [2 gals 1 cup](http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my_20_trip_to_the_local_latin_market_netted_165/)"

"When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry."

"After spending twenty minutes making up outrageous symptoms, WebMD diagnosed me immature, and an asshole."

"I also like my coffee like I like my women ...ground up and in the freezer"

"How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve..."

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."