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Joke of the Day

"Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant."

"I'm making a graph of my past relationships. I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis."

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."

"Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ? because he didn't know Mandarin"

"Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey? The games take 3 months to play!"

"Google+ is like the gym of social networking. We all join it, but nobody uses it."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"[making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really."

"WEIRD BUT TRUE: If you put enough granola in the tailpipe of a Prius, a Slam Poet will receive a Tote Bag from NPR."

"Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon? He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office."