76828

Joke of the Day

"Friends are like snowflakes... If you pee on them, they'll dissapear."

"What happened to the guy who ingested lead? It wasn't the lead that killed him, but rather the element of surprise."

"My Jewish friend always had such a positive outlook on life, even as he suffered from such horrible constipation. As he'd always say, ... This two shall pass."

"Why do smurfs laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls ????"

"I don't want my wife any longer. Her height is perfect."

"What did the elephant say that was pulled out of a mud pit by the balls? Thank you Mrs. Ball, thank you Mr. Ball. It should be assumed I saw myself out."

"My wife mentioned that she couldn't remember if she took her anti-anxiety medication. I asked if she was worried about it?"

"Why is being a pirate addictive? They say that after you lose your first hand, you get hooked!"

"Steve Irwin should have wore sunblock... ... to prevent against harmful rays."

"What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS? They both hate the French press"