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Joke of the Day

"Man who washes with dog toy becomes squeaky clean"

"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."

"{Date} ME: I have to warn you, I'm the jealous type WAITER: What would you folks like? HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?"

"Two Deer in a Gay Bar Two deer walk out of a gay bar ones says to the other, "" I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there"""

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ? A sheep that can round itself up !"

"Now that Scalia, the bullfrog of SCOTUS, has passed away... Can we say he finally croaked?"

"Malcom Gladwell is going to write a book about politicians as a follow-up to ""Outliers"" It's going to be called ""Out-and-out Liars"""

"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""

"What do being in the mafia and cunnilingus have in common... One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!"

"A blind man walks into a bar. then a chair.. and then a table."