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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ? A sheep that can round itself up !"

"I shot a turkey for the first time today... Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."

"I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away."

"Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !"

"What has 5 arms and rocks? Def Leppard"

"I went to see the ballet, and.. ..all the dancers were standing on tiptoe. I said,""Why don't they just get taller dancers?"""

"A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart"

"William Shatner? I didn't even know he knew her."

"""This movie is so awful & unfunny I refuse to air it EVEN on a Saturday afternoon.""- No one at Comedy Central ever"

"Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures."