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Joke of the Day

"Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!"

"Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish"

"What's your best ""A guy walks into a bar"" joke"

"What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball."

"My friend David lost his ID recently. Now we just call him Dav."

"So a pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""You look so annoyed!"". The pirate points down and says ""Yargh - I have a steering wheel at the end of my penis. It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"what's Forrest Gump's password 1forrest1"

"What's beef jerky? Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's."

"Two antenna got married.... ... the reception was amazing."

"What is the ONLY good trait of pedophiles? They always stick to the speed limit in front of schools."