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Joke of the Day

"What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball."

"One night stand I felt so bad about my one night stand. I think I'll buy another one for the other side of the bed."

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (no) me neither but enough to break the ice, hi my name is ....."

"What if global warming *is* a hoax and we clean up our air and oceans, create millions of jobs, and become energy independent for nothing?"

"Adam and eve just finished having sex for the first time god looks down and sees eve washing up and says "" I'm never going to get that smell out of the fish"""

"The Chinese language actually evolved from the English language... it all started off when one person whispered something to the next person, then he whispered it to someone else, and so on..."

"I've never been to Pilates but I have tried to change clothes in the car."

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? (Kinda dark) One's fun to smash with a hammer, the other is a delicious snack."

"HEY WE DON'T SERVE TACHYONS HERE! A tachyon walks into a bar"

"People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out."