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Joke of the Day

"What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball."

"How do you catch a polar bear? You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes in to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole."

"If I could time travel, I'd make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things."

"I would tell you a joke about pizza... ...but it would be too goddamn cheesey."

"How do you cut down a hipster tree? A suuh dude!"

"Instagram makes me feel like the world's only employed person."

"Who is Samuel L Jackson's favorite historical figure? Oedipus"

"How do you reuse a condom? You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Kim Jong-un read War and Peace in a day. At least I think that's why they call him Supreme Reader."

"How was Germany able to Take over Poland so easily. They marched backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving."