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Joke of the Day

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""

"Subway Jared ended his career just like how he started it... ...by trying to get into smaller pants"

"A good coffee table book would be photos of U.S. Presidents' orgasm faces."

"What's an incestuous mother's favourite drink? Sonny-D"

"beluga whale backstroke and blowing water http://youtu.be/M6f1vovJTP4"

"Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to spank their kids. Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay."

"Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses."

"My husband got a new router and the wifi has been off for 5 whole minutes guess I'll go churn butter or something."

"Me: Have a taste of your own medicine *I force the pills the Dr. prescribed for me down his throat* Me: WHO HAS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NOW?!"

"E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight."