189247

Joke of the Day

"Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2"

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn."

"I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them."

"Did you hear? The supreme court ruled that gay marriage has extended to swans."

"Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy"

"Did you know that space has tons of alcohol floating around in it? It's Stellar Artois"

"What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again!"

"How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices? I'm not sure yet."

"Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of."