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Joke of the Day

"E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight."

"Choose your facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing."

"The shortest distance between two points is always closed due to some bullshit construction that should've been finished a year ago."

"'I have a baby-sized dick' he said. He wasn't lying. 19 inches, 7.5 lbs."

"I've never really gotten along with my brother.... I wish he was more like my mom...in that I wish he died three years ago"

"What does a cow's fart smell like? dairy-air"

"Chuck Norris was orginally casted as the main character for salt but then they changed it to Angelia Jolie, look at her face now."

"Good one computer geniuses, you made everything ""user friendly"" and ""intuitive"" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything."

"if Donald trump and Hillary Clinton are on a sinking boat who survives? America"

"What's the difference between your finger and a hammer? I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!"