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Joke of the Day

"Subway Jared ended his career just like how he started it... ...by trying to get into smaller pants"

"I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away."

"What does no one want but will always take Refugees"

"Why rivers are never viewed on dvd or video cassette? Because they are always streaming."

"I saw an advert for a 1 TV. It said ""The volume is stuck on full."" Well, I can't turn that down, can I?"

"What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"..because I always go through the punch-line first I'm usually buzzed by the end of the cake-line.."

"What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta? Maaaac"

"A tree falls on my kitchen, who's dead? My wife, if she doesn't clean that shit up."

"Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again."