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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to spank their kids. Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay."

"Why'd the factory worker hate their job? Because it was soda pressing."

"What's a scientist's favorite shade of blue? Cyan-tific."

"Why are there no casinos in Africa? There are too many cheetahs."

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"Went out drinking at the bar last night. Took a cab home. Trying to figure out what to do with the cab in my garage?"

"What do you call it when a hobbit lives in the ghetto? Worcestershire"

"What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap? Well I can clearly see your nuts"

"The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right"

"My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday. It took me a while, but I got her off."