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Joke of the Day

"Black eye Tom: ""Hey buddy, howya do...whoa! who gave you that black eye? Sam: ""My wife"" Tom: ""I thought she was out of town for the weekend."" Sam: ""So did I."""

"*slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?"

"[proctologist's office] ME: *unzipping pants nervously* PROCTOLOGIST: You're nervous, that's normal, but please zip my pants back up."

"Idaho The official potato of your mom"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I just might vote for it."

"[5:30AM] BRAIN: I'll just go to the bathroom, but keep my eyes closed so I don't wake up. BODY: I'll just clip my head on the door frame."

"My essay on sick, long necked mammals had lots of errors in it. My teacher said it was a rough giraffe."

"So, Tim Cook came out of the cloud?"

"If everyone has a beautiful side, I guess I'm a circle."

"If you listened to your heart please speak to a doctor cause it's isn't normal for a piece of meat to be speaking to you"