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Joke of the Day

"Black eye Tom: ""Hey buddy, howya do...whoa! who gave you that black eye? Sam: ""My wife"" Tom: ""I thought she was out of town for the weekend."" Sam: ""So did I."""

"Trump winning the election I did nazi that coming"

"What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common? Both have had to adjust for inflation."

"Why you never mess with imported ants? Because they are **important**."

"An employee saw his boss fucking a girl inside a car. Employee: ""Nice boss, you enjoying alone, when will it be my turn?"" Boss: ""After the girl"""

"What's the name of the Mexican woman with no legs? Cuntswaylow"

"you know who else had a ""fun hat phase""? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy"

"What's a police officers favorite console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U. Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D"

"Actually, there are but two types of people Those who can extrapolate from limited data ..."

"Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it."