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Joke of the Day

"[proctologist's office] ME: *unzipping pants nervously* PROCTOLOGIST: You're nervous, that's normal, but please zip my pants back up."

"This one will make your taste-buds tingle! ""What does a nosy pepper do?"" ""It gets jalapeno business."""

"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a cow? Cows are real."

"Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks said the Plaintiff had no grounds."

"Getting hit by a sound wave a couple of times won't affect you. Increase the frequency however... And it hertz"

"Someone should tell North Korea that if you want to nuke someone, you probably shouldn't give them a progress report every week."

"I drink to forget that I accidentally once said ""I love you"" when ending a call with a customer service rep."

"I'd Like to Make A Pun About Weed, But... I don't want to be blunt about it"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The first side smelled bad."

"What does it taste like to eat out an 85 year old woman? Depends"