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Joke of the Day

"So, Tim Cook came out of the cloud?"

"""Balls!"" cried the queen. ""If I had two I'd be king!"" The king laughed. He had to."

"I asked an LAPD officer to tell me a joke All he said was ""Black teenagers civil rights"""

"What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ? 'Here Kitty kitty kitty' !"

"I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid my friends will give me the funeral I told them I wanted when I was drunk."

"Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June."

"pooping on a party is still the number one way to poop a party."

"Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time? Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Pizza"" ""My new boyfriend who? ""No. Pizza"" ""My future husband who?"" ""No."" ""Playing hard to get who?"""