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Joke of the Day

"[5:30AM] BRAIN: I'll just go to the bathroom, but keep my eyes closed so I don't wake up. BODY: I'll just clip my head on the door frame."

"An Irishman goes for a job as a blacksmith He's asked ""have you ever shoed a horse before?"" ""No but I have told a donkey to fuck off"""

"When is the best time to play racquet sports? Ten-ish."

"What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Why did everyone love the mushroom at the party? He was a fungi."

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? Birds can fly, but flies can't bird"

"Mexico's population is ill-equiped to deal with Hurricane Patricia The Mexicans that are good at swimming and running have long been gone."

"What's the difference between a pot of glue, a tuna, and a guitar? You can tuna guitar but you can't guitar a tuna!"

"Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with ""mix-ins."" Hot Mash Potatery"

"My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD Bin at Walmart...."