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Joke of the Day

"My 12 wakes up, showers, changes into another pair of PJ's and starts playing PS4. He has no idea how jealous I am."

"The most annoying part of reddit is [removed]"

"I bet people who are actually from West Philadelphia get really tired of telling people where they were born and raised."

"What do you call someone who is good at fishing? A Master Baiter."

"What does batman take in his beverages? just...ice."

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes."

"Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!"

"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"

"I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well."

"When Facebook goes down, everyone comes to Twitter to talk about it. When Twitter goes down, the world falls mute."