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Joke of the Day

"When Facebook goes down, everyone comes to Twitter to talk about it. When Twitter goes down, the world falls mute."

"Remember, guys, every day is a gift. Filled with unreturnable things you didn't ask for and don't want."

"How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him."

"Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned."

"Why do people shoot up schools? Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service."

"What did Drake say when he got out of the elevator?"

"How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? ...Yarn"

"My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow.."

"""Is my butt is too big?"" my girlfriend asked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Sensing a trap, I fell to the ground and played dead."

"Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars"