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Joke of the Day

"I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well."

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"What does the Pope and a Christmas tree have in common? The balls are for decoration only"
"So you know the show Say Yes To The Dress There should be a show about women deciding whether or not to get an abortion called ""Say Maybe To The Baby"""
"Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park"
"Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures."
"Does the obama phone ring? or does it tell the person calling that they can just assume yes to whatever they were calling about?"
"Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to."
"I was going to buy a drawbridge But apparently they're let downs."
"Let us not judge a man based on the color of his skin, but by which character he picks in Super Smash Bros."
"Why do some race drivers hate wet tracks? Because the water is a distraction."