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Joke of the Day

"So I went to a culture booth recently... And I tried some ramen. Wasn't a great idea I soon found out, as I had eaten a cheeseburger not long before. Everything just surrendered..."

"[quietly] ""Always a bridesmaid never the bride"" BRIDE: Hey, you're not one of my bridesmaids! ""Shhh...this day is about you, not me."""

"I like my women like I like my X-Wing pilots... ""Almost there."""

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""hey, we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom says ""why not? I'm a 'fungi' Bam, you've all been PUNNED!"

"Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman? She committed soya-cide."

"Did you hear the one about the philosophical dentist? He wanted to transcend dentalism."

"British English will have only 3 vowels now A I O They left E U"

"How is American beer similar to having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water. (A Canadian just told me this joke)"

"Sometimes I think I've missed my calling. Luckly for me I have voicemail."

"Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out"