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Joke of the Day

"How is American beer similar to having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water. (A Canadian just told me this joke)"

"They say pizza is like sex... Even when it's bad you can still put your dick in it."

"What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard? Nothing, he's Snowden."

"a misunderstanding teacher to class: can anyone use the word fascinate in a sentence? little johnny: my sister has ten buttons on her shirt but she can only fasten eight"

"I use to have mad cow Disease But I'm alright Nooooooooooooooooooow."

"You know, the world doesn't revolve around you! ...because it'd take too long if it did."

"Do mailmen like opening their own mail or does it feel like work?"

"What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV? ""Sir, you dropped your receipt!"""

"Irish I was a lil bit smaller. Irish I was a leprechaun baller. Irish I had a shamrock & a hat, & endless gold coins in a big black cauldron"

"Today my engineering final exam friend please pray for me all is well. hhhhhhhhhh it's joke my wife birth a baby so it's my engineering"