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Joke of the Day
"Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration? Because it's a cold day in hell...."
Next Joke
"My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays"
"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Rotten eggs"
"Did you hear about that earthquake yesterday? I heard it was groundbreaking."
"I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands... Clunk. These are heavy."
"So an old-timer goes out for breakfast... And the young whippersnapper of a waiter asks ""What will you have, Sir?"" ""Bacon my day, sonny!"" [Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works]"
"Why are gay men so mean? Nsfw Because they're all fucking assholes."
"""It's a competition, I didn't come here to make friends."" -- Jerry, the 1st contestant eliminated on this season's ""Friendmakers""."
"(Dad joke warning) What was the almond tree doing all damn summer long? Nuttin'"
"My step-dad's pretty cool. Not as cool as my fence-dad, though. Roof-dad is okay. What is a father?"