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Joke of the Day

"""It's a competition, I didn't come here to make friends."" -- Jerry, the 1st contestant eliminated on this season's ""Friendmakers""."

"My hands are really reliable I can always count on them."

"i know a guy who loves saying ""best thing since sliced bread"" and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it"

"I heard a joke today that made me shit myself. It was just a bit of self-defecating humor."

"How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle"

"What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people? Dead people had lives."

"Hey people who say 'I want my funeral to be like this': what are you going to do about it if they don't do it like that?"

"I like my women like I like my plastic wrap. Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested."

"Why are Gay and Lesbian parades always held in the Summer? Because Pride comes before a Fall."

"What does a Gorilla attorney study? The Law of the jungle!"