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Joke of the Day

"My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays"

Next Joke
 
"What do you give an octomom for mother's day? A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies."
"What did Anakin see when he walked in on his master unannounced? Obi wankin' Obi"
"Hey, want to play the rape game? No? That's the spirit!"
"What do japanese men do when they have erections? Vote"
"Boss: Did you bring the reports? Me: Hold on. *reaches into pockets and pulls out two middle fingers* Boss: I resign. You're the boss now."
"What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common? They both lie about their emissions."
"Do cats like Deadmau5? I mean he is a mouse himself, but maybe they like the concept?"
"My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there."
"I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once. Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, ""Don't you mean... two times?"""