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Joke of the Day

"Customer: ""It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"""

"Well tonight's date night for me and the wife I certainly hope we don't run into each other"

"Looking for a girlfriend is a lot like fishing There's a lot of fish in the sea but until you find one its just you and your rod"

"I tried to donate a kidney once... ...they wouldn't take it though because I wouldn't tell them where I got it."

"If my third grade teacher hasn't taught me that little rhyme about spelling.... I'd still be spelling cieling and nieghbor wrong."

"Hulk got mad at his washing machine. Hulk SMASH IT! So Hulk gotta go to laundromat this morning. Hulk so stupid."

"What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The Polar bear."

"How are ninjas and soft core porn alike? You never see them coming."

"How much rest does a bad Sheppard get? Not a ton, he has a lot of sheepless nights."

"Then god said, ""Let there be light,"" and there was light and he regretted making Adam in the dark because he gave him Owen Wilson's nose."