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Joke of the Day
"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."
Next Joke
"I was thinking of becoming a banker ... But I lost interest"
"What do call you someone who feeds on comatose patients and pizza? A vegetarian."
"A sandwich walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"Had sex with a socialist girl a little while back. Think I'm gonna need to see a doctor. whenever I pee, I start to feel the Bern."
"What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights? A jacked rabbit."
"What do you call a detective novel about eskimos? Whodinuit"
"How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a lightbulb? I wouldn't know, mine's never around. (Alternately: ""Well, he went out to get one..."")"
"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! ...hustling British casinos wasn't as easy as we'd hoped."
"My first middle-school football game was just like the time i lost my virginity. Bloody and dirty, but at least my dad came."